Who Are You Battling Alongside?

March 5th, 2024.

"Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes."

• Ephesians 6:11

I've written about this topic extensively in the book WAR: A Tactical Guide for Christian Men. Christian men today are in an active battle and fall into three groups. The first group has no idea they're even in a battle. The next group understands that they're in a battle but haven't been trained to fight, so they're taking casualties personally and within their families. The final group sees the battle and is actively fighting back.

This battle for Christian men's hearts is real. Their faith is being attacked. Their masculinity is being attacked. Their marriages are being attacked. Their children are being attacked. Their purpose is being attacked. Their identity is being attacked. Their confidence is being attacked. Attacks are being waged from every side.

It's a reality I see in the lives of men every day. It's also a truth that I have lived personally, experiencing each of those stages above in my own life. I've been the man who had no idea he was in a battle. I've experienced the moment when I could see the battle clearly for the first time but had no idea how to protect myself or my family. And today, I'm a man fighting for my faith, my marriage, my children, my masculinity, my purpose, my confidence, and my identity.

What do these battles look like? Every week, I hear new stories.

"Porn is destroying me. I've been battling it since I was fourteen, and now I'm thirty-six."

"The drinking isn't really an issue. It's more social than anything. I just wish I could control it."

"I'm just trying to keep up. If I work a little more and a little harder, I'll get what I want and be happy. It will finally be enough."

"My wife wants a divorce. I never thought I'd lose my kids full-time."

"It finally caught up with me. I lost my job and my girlfriend."

Men are at war, and unfortunately, most have no idea. They're either oblivious to the war being waged all around them, or they feel stuck in it with no weapons. Because they're unaware and unequipped, they're not fighting back. And, because they're not fighting back, they're getting destroyed.

You can see it in their eyes. Look around the next time you walk through the grocery store, the gym, or even your church. You'll meet men who have a glaze in their eyes, that distant stare. When you look for it, you can see it a mile away. They're yearning for something more in their lives, but the battle is breaking them down.

At work, they're looking for meaning and purpose but not finding it. They're struggling to measure up and endure the pressure, but it's getting to them. Every day, they're being asked to do more with less and to carry heavier loads. "Keep going, son, and it will pay off someday."

At home, the battle is just as hard. Some are trying to lead in their homes, and others are showing up passively with no energy or intention. Relationships with the women they love are strained. Husbands are struggling to be there for their wives the way they know they should, and for men raising kids, they're desperately trying to navigate their role as a dad.

To deal with this, men find ways to cope. Some turn to alcohol, drugs, porn, and gambling to deal with life. For others, chasing money, success, and material gain is their addiction. On the battlefield of our lives, these are some of our greatest enemies.

Becoming aware of the battle you're in is the first step to winning that battle. What's the key to winning? Jesus… and other Christian men. First, you need to invite Jesus onto the battlefield with you. Humble yourself and ask Him to join your fight for the things that matter in your life. Then, invite other Christian men to fight alongside you. Stop trying to do this alone.

Too often, Christian guys step onto life's battlefields alone with no one fighting alongside them. When we're alone, it makes us an easy target. Standing with Jesus and other Christian men, we change the odds and stack them in our favor.

Take that first step today. Invite Jesus into your battles. Then, surround yourself with other Christian men who are ready to fight with you and for you.

Looking for that group of Christian men who will step into the battle with you? One of the places where I have found that is in my CBMC relationships, specifically my Trusted Advisor Forum. If this is something you're looking for, I suggest you explore all of the CBMC offerings and find a group of solid Christian men to step into your battles with you.